I swallow down fiery anger whenever his posts run down my feed.
Complaining about all the things he has supposedly done that are supposed to make girls fall at his feet.
Saying he’s such a nice guy. That girls must only like jerks.
“You know what your problem is? You know why you don’t have a boyfriend? Because you think straight guys need to act like gay guys.”
Yep. You are such a nice guy.
I was drawing inspiration from my friend Joseph (who happens to be a queer male). He treats me with respect. He makes me laugh. When I am having an anxiety or panic attack, he grabs me, looks me in the eye, and keeps telling me it’s OK until it is. He has made me into a much better person, a much happier person. I have tried things I never thought I could possibly do, or ever want to do because of him. He’s a good person.
Based on that, one could see that I would like a romantic/intimate partner who treats me with respect. Who asks for my consent, and is OK with whatever answer I give him. Who makes me happy, be it by lovingly teasing me, or giving me Reese’s peanut butter cups for no apparent reason, or just telling me it’s OK when I need to hear it. Who is a good freaking person. And I think that is something similar to what every girl (and hopefully every human being) desires.
So please, guys – Stop saying that girls don’t like nice guys. Because we do. But for us, that means being a good person. Respecting us. Caring about us no matter what.
And remember, just because you are all of those things and we don’t want you to be our romantic partner, it doesn’t mean we’d rather be with a jerk. Sometimes, the other parts of both individuals’ personalities just don’t click. It isn’t meant to be. Grieve, eat a whole pizza, and keep going.
Because you will find a girl who is compatible.
Or you’ll end up dating dudes. Whatever floats your boat, love.*